The following is an excerpt from the writings of Dr. James Dobson

“Pieces To Lives Puzzles
There are more heroes in my catalog than I could describe, but I will resist the inclination to name them. My concern at this point, however, is to help those who are not so well grounded in their beliefs. If everyone was gifted with the tenacity of a bulldog and the faith of Father Abraham, there would be no need for a discussion of this nature. But most of us are not spiritual superstars.

That’s why these thoughts are addressed affectionately to individuals who have been wounded in spirit by experiences they could not understand. The pieces to life’s puzzle simply have not fit together, leaving them confused, angry, and disillusioned.

Perhaps you are among those who have struggled to comprehend a particular heartache and God’s reason for allowing it. A thousand unanswered questions have been recycling in your mind—most of them beginning with the word why.

You want desperately to trust the Father and believe in his grace and goodness. But deep inside, you’re held captive by a sense of betrayal and abandonment. The Lord obviously permitted your difficulties to occur. Why didn’t he prevent them—and why has he not attempted to explain or apologize for them? The inability to answer those fundamental questions has become a spiritual barrier a mile high, and you can’t seem to find a way around or over it.

For some of my readers, your sorrow can be traced directly to the death of a precious son or daughter. Your pain from that loss has been so intense that you’ve wondered if you could even carry on. What a joy he (or she) was to your heart. He ran and jumped and giggled and hugged. You loved him far more than you valued your own life.

But then there was that horrible morning at the pool, or the ominous medical report, or the accident on the bicycle. Now your beloved child is gone, and God’s purpose in his death has remained a mystery.

For someone else, there will never be anything as painful as the rejection you were dealt by an ex-husband or wife. The day you discovered the infidelity, or when the divorce papers arrived at the door, or that unforgettable night of violence—those were indescribable moments of heartache.

In some ways, it would have been easier to have buried the spouse than to see him or her in the arms of another. How could that person to whom you gave everything be so cruel? Many tears were shed as God was begged to intervene. When the marriage continued to fail, disillusionment and bitterness rolled over you like a tidal wave. You’ve said you would never trust anyone again—not even the Almighty.

I’m thinking also of widows and widowers trying to survive on their own. If you’re one of them, you know what very few of your friends fully comprehend. They want you to get over this loss and return to the business of living. But you just can’t do it. For so many years, your marriage was the centerpiece of your existence. Two separate human beings truly became “one flesh” as God intended. It was such a sweet love affair that could have gone on forever.

In fact, when you were young, you honestly thought it would. But suddenly, it was over. And now for the first time in many years, you’re truly alone. Is this what it all comes down to?

To those whom I have been describing—those who have struggled to understand God’s providence—I bring hope to you today. No, I can’t provide tidy little solutions to all of life’s annoying inconsistencies. That will not occur until we see the Lord face-to-face.

But his heart is especially tender toward the downtrodden and the defeated. He knows your name, and he has seen every tear you have shed. He was there on each occasion when life took a wrong turn. And what appears to be divine disinterest or cruelty is a misunderstanding at best and a satanic lie at worst.

How do I know this to be true? Because the Scriptures emphatically tell us so. For starters, David wrote, “The Lord is close to those whose hearts are breaking, he rescues those who are humbly sorry for their sins” (Ps. 34:18), Isn’t that a beautiful verse?

How encouraging to know that the very presence of the King, the Creator of all heaven and earth, hovers near those who are wounded and discouraged. If you could fully comprehend how deeply you are loved, you would never feel alone again.

David returned to that thought in Psalm 103:8: “He is merciful and tender toward those who don’t deserve it; he is slow to get angry and full of kindness and love.”

Another favorite passage of mine is Romans 8:26, in which we’re told that the Holy Spirit actually prays for you and me with such passion that human language is inadequate to describe it. That verse says, “In the same way—by our faith—the Holy Spirit helps us with our daily problems and in our praying. For we don’t even know what we should pray for nor how to pray as we should, but the Holy Spirit prays for us with such feeling that it cannot be expressed in words.”

What comfort we should draw from that understanding! He is calling your name to the Father today, pleading your case, and describing your need. How wrong it is, therefore, to place the blame for your troubles on the best Friend mankind ever had! Regardless of other conclusions you draw, please believe this: He is not the source of your pain!

Explanations. If you were sitting before me at this moment, you might be inclined to ask, “Then how do you explain the tragedies and hardships that have come into my life? Why did God do this to me?” My reply is not profound. But I know it is right! God rarely chooses to answer those questions in this life!

That’s what I’ve been trying to say. He will not parade his plans and purposes for our approval. We must never forget that he is God. As such, he wants us to believe and trust in him despite the things we don’t understand. It’s that straight-forward.

Jehovah never did answer Job’s intelligent inquiries, and he will not respond to all of yours. Every person who ever lived, I submit, has had to deal with seeming contradictions and enigmas. You will not be the exception.

If that explanation is unsatisfactory and you can’t accept it, then you are destined to go through life with a weak, ineffectual faith—or no faith at all. You’ll just have to construct your castles on some other foundation. That will be your greatest challenge, however—because there is no other foundation, It is written, “Unless the Lord builds a house, the builders’ work is useless” Ps. 127:1).

My strongest advice is that each of us acknowledge before the crisis occurs, if possible, that our trust in him must be independent of our understanding. There’s nothing wrong with trying to understand, but we must not lean on our ability to comprehend!

Sooner or later, our intellect will pose questions we cannot possibly answer. At that point, we would be wise to remember his words, “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than yours, and my thoughts than yours” (Isa. 55:9). And our reply should be, “I want your will, not mine” (Luke 22:42).

For those who are hurting and discouraged, I think it would be comforting to look forward to the time when the present trials will be a distant memory. A day of celebration is coming like nothing that has ever occurred in the history of mankind.

The Guest of Honor on that morning will be one wearing a seamless robe, with eyes like flames of fire and feet like fine brass. As we bow humbly before him, a great voice will thunder from the heavens, saying:

Look, the home of God is now among men, and he will live with them and they will be his people; yes, God himself will be among them. He will wipe away all tears from their eyes, and there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying, nor pain. All of that has gone forever. (Rev. 21:3-4)

And, again the mighty voice will echo through the corridors of time:

hey will never be hungry again, nor thirsty, and they will be fully protected from the scorching noontime heat. For the Lamb standing in front of the throne will feed them and be their Shepherd and lead them to the springs of the Water of Life. And God will wipe their tears away. (Rev. 7:16-17)

This is the hope of the ages that burns within my breast. It s the ultimate answer to those who suffer and struggle today.

It is the only solace for those who have said good-bye to a loved one. Though the pain is indescribable now, we must never forget that our separation is temporary. We will be reunited forever on that glad resurrection morning. As the Scripture promises, our tears will be banished forever!

My father and mother will also be in the crowd on that day, standing expectantly beside my little grandmother, who prayed for me before I was born. They will be straining to catch a glimpse of our arrival, just like they did so many Christmas seasons when we flew into the Kansas City airport. Dad will have so much to tell me that he will be bursting with excitement. He’ll want to take me to some distant planet he’s discovered.

Your loved ones who died in Christ will also be in that great throng, singing and shouting the praises of the Redeemer. What a celebration it will be!

This is the reward for the faithful—for those who overcome their sense of betrayal in tough times and persevere to the end. This is the crown of righteousness prepared for those who have “fought long and hard for [their] Lord, and through it all… have kept true to him” (2 Tim. 4:7).

Final Thoughts. Throughout our remaining days in this life, therefore, let me urge you not to be discouraged by temporal cares. Accept the circumstances as they are presented to you. Expect periods of hardship to occur, and don’t be dismayed when they arrive. “Lean into the pain” when your time to suffer comes around, knowing that God will use the difficulty for his purposes and, indeed, for your own good. The Lord is very near, and he has promised that your temptation will not be greater than you can bear (1 Cor. 10:13).

I’ll leave you with these wonderful words from Psalm 34:

Yes, the Lord hears the good man when he calls to him for help and saves him out of all his troubles. The Lord is close to those whose hearts are breaking; he rescues those who are humbly sorry for their sins. The good man does not escape all troubles—he has them too. But the Lord helps him in each and every one. (vv. 17-19) – Adapted from When God Doesn’t Make Sense

Such was the conviction, the persuasion of the writer of the song, “when peace like a river attendeth my way, when sorrows like sea billows roll, whatever my lot thou hast taught me to say, it is well with my soul.” Beloved, it is well with your soul because our Father is still in control. Shalom, shalom.




Pastor Afolabi Oladele