Changing circumstances are unannounced visitors in all our lives. It may be the loss of a loved one, the loss of economic capacity or the crash of a long-term relationship such as marriage etc. Any of these could hit unexpectedly throwing us into confusion; but when the three hit at the same time as was the case of Job only the affected can describe the burden they have to carry. At such times we need friends, but who fits into such?  In the tongue or language of one of the Native Americans, the concept of the word ‘friend’ is beautifully stated as ‘one who carries my sorrows on his or her back’. These people probably did not know the God of the Holy Bible, yet what great definition they had.

Consider Job 2:11-13 (AMPC)—Now when Job’s three friends heard of all this evil that was come upon him, they came each one from his own place, Eliphaz the Temanite and Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite, for they had made an appointment together to come to condole with him and to comfort him. And when they looked from afar off and saw him [disfigured] beyond recognition, they lifted up their voices and wept; and each one tore his robe, and they cast dust over their heads toward the heavens. So they sat down with [Job] on the ground for seven days and seven nights, and none spoke a word to him, for they saw that his grief and pain were very great.

They meant well, for they came by appointment with the sole objective of condoling with him and comforting him. What they saw was beyond their imagination that they became speechless. But after 7 days, empathy on their part gave way to presumption, leading them into a self-made trap of trying to explain what they knew nothing about!

The natural man seeks to explain everything he perceives, playing the role that doesn’t belong to him. No man is all knowing. The conversation in John 9:1-3 (APMC) speaks to this— As He passed along, He noticed a man blind from his birth. His disciples asked Him, Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he should be born blind? Jesus answered, It was not that this man or his parents sinned, but he was born blind in order that the workings of God should be manifested (displayed and illustrated) in him.

Here is the first rule to learn and live by, never assume or pretend you have the answers to anyone’s problems except where God precisely told you! You will end up the way these three friends ended up, who thought they were speaking for God in all their responses to the questions and assertions that Job was making. Our text shows how wrong we can be. Job 42:7-10 (AMPC)— After the Lord had spoken the previous words to Job, the Lord said to Eliphaz the Temanite, My wrath is kindled against you and against your two friends, for you have not spoken of Me the thing that is right, as My servant Job has. Now therefore take seven bullocks and seven rams and go to My servant Job and offer up for yourselves a burnt offering; and My servant Job shall pray for you, for I will accept [his prayer] that I deal not with you after your folly, in that you have not spoken of Me the thing that is right, as My servant Job has. So Eliphaz the Temanite and Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite went and did as the Lord commanded them; and the Lord accepted [Job’s prayer]. And the Lord turned the captivity of Job and restored his fortunes, when he prayed for his friends; also the Lord gave Job twice as much as he had before.

What weight of condemnation awaits the presumptuous, who thinks he or she can speak for God on issues or problems being faced by His elect people?

So here is how we can empathise with the weaknesses of those who come to us or who we go to in their times of trouble:

1. Listen with an open heart instead of trying to talk away their problem
2. If they are crying, share their tears. If they are silent, share their silence
3. Let them know you are available, ready to help, and that you will always have time for them
4. Remind them that human beings can only do so much but God can do the impossible, and
5. If they allow you to, pray for them.

That way you help lift the burden off their shoulders and place such before God where it rightly belongs. Selah.