From our last post, Dr. Carol continues:

“The Difference Between Desire and Lust
If lust is not libido, what about plain desire? Would God rather we be devoid of all desire? The short answer is No!

You may have read this C.S. Lewis quote: “It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.” (The Weight of Glory)

It’s not that we want too much; it’s that we are satisfied with too little. We indulge in our little addictions hoping to dull the desire for something we struggle to articulate, the desire that won’t go away. Humans are not naturally good at delayed gratification, especially in those areas where we don’t see likely satisfaction in the near future.

And specifically regarding sex, we go after sexual indulgence when we hunger for true intimacy, knowing and being known – physically, emotionally, spiritually. And as hungry as we are for intimacy, we’re also truly terrified of it. So many reach for sex (sometimes at any cost), and may wonder why it’s never enough.

If the ditch on one side is hungrily trying to gratify every lustful desire, the ditch on the other side is trying to eliminate all desire. That’s neither healthy nor godly, and again, it neither works nor satisfies.

God-Given Desire
Satan cannot create. He comes up with nothing original. Our sexual desires did not originate from the enemy; they originated from God Himself when He created us in His image.

And how the enemy has distorted them.

A beautiful woman, for example, illustrates God’s crowning creation. Adam wakes up from his God-induced anesthesia and can hardly believe his eyes. His whole being is enraptured with the sight of Eve. You can be sure he was aroused. “Naked and unashamed” (Genesis 2:25).

But in Jesus words: “But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28). Notice “lustful intent.” A look that devolves into “I want her when I want her to do what I want with her” (or him) – that’s lust.

How far we have fallen!

And remember that Jesus “in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin” (Hebrews 4:15). As a fully human man, Jesus felt sexual desire. But He did not lust.

What to Do With Desire
So now what? How do you handle desire, especially sexual desire? At the risk of making this sound “easy” (it’s not), I submit these ideas. The ongoing struggles here will be abundantly worth it.

1. Submit your sexuality to Jesus. Our sinful nature has corrupted and marred sexual desire for most of us. The only way to separate sexual desire from lust is to daily submit your sexuality to Jesus.
2. Seek healing. We have all been harmed sexually. Take the time to get to the root of your sexual stuff – whether you hunger for sex or hate sex. Keep working with the Holy Spirit toward becoming whole.
3. Pursue intimacy. In marriage, that means pursuing connection with your spouse – physical, emotional, and spiritual. If unmarried, that means pursuing real connection with brothers and sisters in Christ, as difficult as that often seems.
4. Let desire grow. Yes, grow! The desire God has planted within you is designed to keep you hungering first for Him, and then for the eternity He has promised, when He will make all things right.

May the desires God has planted within you be both enlarged and sanctified, regardless of your relationship status.”

Take these steps today and be free. Shalom.


Pastor Afolabi Oladele