Our theme text today reads thus,

But by the cross of Jesus stood His mother, His mother’s sister, Mary the [wife] of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. So Jesus, seeing His mother there, and the disciple whom He loved standing near, said to His mother, [Dear] woman, See, [here is] your son! Then He said to the disciple, See, [here is] your mother! And from that hour, the disciple took her into his own [keeping, own home]’. John 19:25-27

Neither the Lord Jesus, nor John the beloved was of consequential status, but a sacrificial heart even in death, saw the need to care for an aged mother, and He did!

“Many of us are so busy with day-to-day schedules that taking time off work to be with their aging parents is difficult. Yet, isolation, loneliness, and boredom are the most common issues among elderly people. It may be compounded by mobility issues. The inability to drive as much as they used to could compound the loneliness they feel on a daily basis. Worse still, they see their friends passing away. There are fewer opportunities to make friends and get involved in social engagements, adding to the reason why many older parents tend to stay at home. Here are some tips to help you do the right and be a beneficiary of God’s blessings
 
1. Maintain Frequent Contact: There is nothing holding you back from reaching out to your parents on a regular basis. Technology has even made it possible for you to see their faces even when you are not right there with them. Teach Your Parents How To Use Modern Technology. You can be productive at work while still giving your aging parents the care and attention you would love to give them. You might be used to calling mom or dad once a week or twice a month. Create the time if you have a busy schedule. You can call your parents in the morning when going to work. You might even decide to call them after work hours. You should even do more if any of them has lost a significant other. Losing a significant other means there is a greater risk of depression. Your everyday call will help suppress any form of boredom. Your parents will even make receiving a call from you a part of their daily to-do list. It is remarkable what social media has done to this generation. You can teach them how to register on major social networks. They can meet some old friends on any of these social media platforms. More interestingly, they can watch videos online and check people’s posts. There is no limit to what they can do with modern technology. They will even be intrigued by the possibility of technology and will want to explore everything.

2. Visit Your Parents More Often: You are the only one who knows how frequently you visit your parents. No matter the number of times you visit, you have to make an increase in that number. Despite the benefits of modern technology, there is no technology or amount of calls that can substitute an in-person visit. It is not only good for you to see how your parents are faring; it is also good for them to see your face. You might have a challenge in visiting them as often as you would love as a result of distance. However, you can still schedule quality time for them using video call platforms like Skype or other mobile application that helps you connect to a person via video calls.

3. Encourage Your Aging Parents to Visit Community Social Gatherings: If your aging parents live in urban or suburban areas, there are likely to be older people social gatherings and resources in the community they live. You can encourage them to join these social events. This can help reduce the worry of your parent’s well-being. It will also provide them with the social connections they need to think less about their current situation. Getting to know new people can turn a shy old person into a lively senior.

4. Step Out with Your Aging Parents: Are there concerts and the cinema you love to visit when you have the time? Are there times when you want to go shopping? Why not try doing all this with your parent? Aside from taking your parents out to these entertainment venues in the city, you can also go local. Many communities have their own local festivals which the older people don’t want to miss.

5. Take Your Aging Parents to Your Office: While you shouldn’t do this on a regular basis, it is a good way to assure aging parents that they are still very much relevant in your hectic schedule.

6. Give Your Loved Ones the Best Care: Caring for parents as they age is never easy, after all you have your own family to look after. Help from home care services is another option to consider when it comes to maintaining your relationship while providing the best care possible. Caregivers are important if you don’t have the time to go visit your parents regularly. Beyond your own schedule, they also help aging parents with health care and chores and can keep them lively. You must not let the presence of a caregiver take your place in the lives of your aging parents.

Even when you employ the services of a caregiver to take care of your aging parent, there is still the possibility of lack of satisfaction, excitement, or fun. Your parents might not have any social connections with the caregiver other than cleanliness in the house. These are some of the issues you should think about when considering your parents—even if you are the busiest person in the world. You shouldn’t let the presence of a caregiver take your place in the lives of your aging parents. Caregivers should be allowed to play their roles as caregivers, not children of the aging parent. You are still in the position to play your part. Caregiving is there to help you and your parents. What’s more, they can ensure that your parents enjoy their independence by not needing to live in a nursing home or senior community for many years to come. Taking them to a nursing home is the very last option because they can become an excuse to forget your aged ones; and nothing breaks the aged more than your absence that leads to feelings of abandonment and ingratitude

Everyone gets busy at some point. It is left to individuals to choose how much time they are ready to sacrifice for their aging parents. Aging parents need the attention of their adult children. They will be happier, safer, and get all the health care they need if you take the time out of your tight work schedule to be with them. As you can see, there are many simple things you could do to create more time for your aging parents. You might not be able to become a full-time caregiving—but just do something—Culled from Aging In Place

We close this with another Ocholi Ojonimi Okutepa’s poem, praying that it will motivate a change of heart and an intentionality on your part to care for them while they are still living.

“Do not give me a befitting burial when you watched me starve to death with your power to help withheld.
Don’t make a show of love when I am gone if you declined to show it when I still had a show on earth.
Don’t lie at my burial for whatever reason.
You’re not obligated to attend it, if you chose to make it, say it as it is.
I am writing to you because you’re blood.
But this blood has become lighter than water
I am writing to you because you don’t know, perhaps, before this ink dries you may know.
A reflection of unspoken thoughts of many.
Art is speaking, So I speak”

Shalom.



Pastor Afolabi Oladele