If no one ever told you, know it now that the period of courtship is the picture of an iceberg. Only a small percentage of who you reach really are, is visible. The core values, emotions, behaviors and natural reflexes of each of you stem from something much deeper. They remain invisible until the shine of the courtship period fades after the wedding. As it is with culture, some aspects are observable and the others can only be suspected, imagined or intuited. If you are not cognizant of this reality and are really prepared for it, the surprises can destroy the marriage. This is the ground for unconditional love, and if that is not the cornerstone of your relationship, please think twice about getting into marriage. Believe me we have lived this, but for God’s grace, we won’t be here and not without avoidable pains and His help!

God’s reason for marriage is relationship (companionship) and relationship (companionship) is at the center of God’s plan for creating man. It is not the gorgeous woman, or the handsome well-heeled man neither yet the gorgeous homes, fast cars, nor the lengthy lists of accomplishments. While these things are truly valuable – in one sense or another – being made in God’s image and likeness demands that we treasure our relationships above all else.

Finally, all [of you] should be of one and the same mind (united in spirit), sympathizing [with one another], loving [each other] as brethren [of one household], compassionate and courteous (tenderhearted and humble). Never return evil for evil or insult for insult (scolding, tongue-lashing, berating), but on the contrary blessing [praying for their welfare, happiness, and protection, and truly pitying and loving them]. For know that to this you have been called, that you may yourselves inherit a blessing [from God–that you may obtain a blessing as heirs, bringing welfare and happiness and protection]. 1 Peter 3:8-9 (AMPC)

Now, this is the goal: to live in harmony with one another and demonstrate affectionate love, sympathy, and kindness toward other believers. Let humility describe who you are as you dearly love one another. Never retaliate when someone treats you wrongly, nor insult those who insult you, but instead, respond by speaking a blessing over them—because a blessing is what God promised to give you. 1 Peter 3:8-9 (TPT)

If your courtship will not land you in the mindset expressed by this scripture, YOU ARE NOT READY FOR MARRIAGE! Selah.

Pastor Afolabi Oladele