Let’s first take a look at the definition of anger. Since people feel and express anger in various ways, it is important to note that there are many types of anger. Here are three of the main types:

• *Passive anger: Often known as passive-aggressive anger, passive anger is anger that is held in. Essentially, a person who exhibits passive anger refuses or is unable to deal with their emotional response and often avoids dealing with situations that make them angry. That is not to say the anger doesn’t exist; it means the person keeps their anger bottled up, which, in turn, manifests as judgmental comments, spreading rumors, holding grudges, etc.
• Aggressive anger: Aggressive anger is what most people commonly imagine when it comes to anger. Aggressive anger is expressed outwardly through behaviors such as yelling or acts of physical violence. This violence could be retaliatory, such as harming the person who harmed them or that person’s property, or it could look like a person smashing their phone on the ground or breaking something like a plate or vase in the heat of the moment.
• Assertive anger: Assertive anger is the healthiest of the three types of anger, aiming to problem solve and work through the difficult feeling to find a resolution. A person who is exhibiting assertive anger uses direct and straightforward wording, ” I” statements, and aims to problem solve in a controlled way. *Taken from Study.com

*While these types of anger are only a few of the ways in which anger can manifest, it’s also important to note that anger can also be verbal and nonverbal. For some, they may be unable to speak, overtaken by their emotions, while others talk and or yell through their feelings as a way to process. No matter what, it’s important to understand that every person will react differently when overcome with the feeling of anger, and may even exhibit a different response to a repeated angering situation* (*Taken from Study.com).

This is where our scripture text comes in—

An understanding person demonstrates patience, for mercy means holding your tongue. When you are insulted, be quick to forgive and forget it, for you are virtuous when you overlook an offense. Proverbs 19:11 (TPT)

Smart people know how to hold their tongue; their grandeur is to forgive and forget Proverbs 19:11 (MSG)

Paul the apostle reinforces what our text scripture states in Ephesians 4:26-27;

Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry—but don’t use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don’t stay angry. Don’t go to bed angry. Don’t give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life. Ephesians 4:26-27 (MSG)

But don’t let the passion of your emotions lead you to sin! Don’t let anger control you or be fuel for revenge, not for even a day. Don’t give the slanderous accuser, the Devil, an opportunity to manipulate you! Ephesians 4:26-27 (TPT)

Discretion implies that mercy and readiness to immediately forgive are panacea against anger. This is being emphasised for application be it at home, or at work and in particular amongst your brethren in the household of God if we will fulfil the conditions of loving as demanded of us in 2024. We’ll take the implications of failing to obey this in our next posting. Selah.

Pastor Afolabi Oladele