Pastor David Nkenchor – 4 February 2018

Young adults don’t get married anymore. When they do, it is much later in life. Getting married is now viewed as a bedevilling step that leads to terminating our lives. It’s viewed as a disease like cancer. Young adults are encouraged (directly or indirectly) to go “sow their wild oats” and live sybarite lives in their young days instead of settling down in marriage. In fact the age of marriage is continually going up in our culture and it is pushing to thirty (and beyond). Not only has this been the best trend in the culture, but it is beginning to take its toll in the body of Christ as well. There is an incredible amount of pressure on young Christian persons to embrace cultural, economic and unbiblical views of loveless, carnal sex without commitment and responsibility.

According to undisclosed research, “90% of American adults experience sexual intercourse before marriage. The percentage of evangelicals who do so is not much lower. In a nationally representative study of young adults, just under 80% of unmarried, church-going, conservative Protestants who are currently dating someone are having sex of some sort”.

The message of abstinence and sexual purity remains as sacred as ever, however, the approach must be revisited, because the preoccupation with sex has unwittingly turned our attention away from the damage that humanity (including Christendom) are doing to the institution of marriage by discouraging and delaying it”.

Marriage is God-ordained, and ALL forms of sexual intercourse / involvements outside marriage are dehumanising and ungodly with inestimable consequences. I Cor. 6:18-19; 3:16-19, Heb. 13:5 (Msg.)
Strong as sexual urge is, marriage is the ONLY institution where God approves and provides adequately for its fulfilment and satisfaction; 1 Cor. 7:2 (Msg.)

Since marriage is a symbol of God’s covenantal faithfulness to His people, and a witness to the future union between Christ and His body. One can then deduce that inadequate and imbalanced knowledge of God’s intent and provision in the ‘formative-nature’ of marriage is the main reason for delays in marriages.
NOTE: Early marriage is not in any way synonymous to Pre-mature or Immature Marriage.

There are several reasons young Christians need to begin adopting this counter-cultural and non-politically correct practices by marrying early, some among the innumerable reasons are:

1. There is time for everything in life – Eccl 3:1,8a; 8:6 Msg
In spite of changing ideologies, political correctness and misconceptions by some Christians, (church dogmas inclusive), times and seasons of life including marriage are in cycles and never the same. The realisation of this truth behoves mankind to sow and prepare for harvest according to seasons of life. Failure to understand and maximise seasons of life is a major reason for delay in marriage.

2. Youthfulness provides for Romantic Marital Satisfaction (Prov. 5:18-19)
Youthfulness nurtures Innocence (freedom from sin, evil, encumbrances, worldly craze, etc (Eccl 12:1-2 NLT)
God desires to redeem and mature us at our youthful / prime age (Isaiah 54:5-6 NLT; Ps 103:5 MSG; Psalms 127:4 NLT; Psalms 144:12 KJV; Eccl. 4:9-11 TLB)
Without gainsaying, the greatest advancement and destruction of the earth (science and technology, industry, agriculture, genocide, terrorism, politics, human and international relations, et.c. are being championed by the young. The strategy is “Get the young, get the world”.
Searching through history, the greatest outpouring of God’s redemptive power and revival has been in the lives of the responsible young folks.
Imagine the impact young (vibrant) couples with their hearts and households sold out to the Lord will make in these times.

3. Submission to discipline and malleability is best as youths
Lam 3:27: “It is good for man to submit at an early age to the yoke of discipline” (NLT)
“It is good for a man that he should bear the yoke (of divine disciplinary dealings) in his youth” (AMP)
Youthfulness (Prime) is synonymous to Strength and Usefulness which relates to Fruitfulness “Purposefulness” (Isa 40:30; Ps 103:5; Ps 110:1-3;Ps 127:5; Job 29:2-12). This asserts that we are at an advantage of discovering and prospering in our life purpose in our youth and thus, the need for a help meet becomes inevitable (except for Celibates).

Adam, the first created and prototype man fulfilled the Basic Common Factor (BCF) Gen. 2:15-16, 18 namely:
– Lived in the Garden of Eden (Traceable Residence that radiates God’s pleasure)
– Communion with God (Practising Born-Again / Relationship with Christ)
– Tendering the Garden (Engaged in His Divine Calling wherein his Basic Needs are met)
It was at this juncture that God himself declares “It is not good for the man to be alone, I will make him a help meet (suitable) for him” – Gen. 2:18.

NOTE: The help meet came from God’s bosom and was meant to complement him by helping him attain his full measure in purpose. She attains her own fulfilment therein.
So, what stops young believers who meet these pre-requisites, found their heartthrobs and are prepared for marriage from doing so? Should they rather be burning in the lust of their passion, or seek the sexual relief outside the confines of God’s word? Does this not sound like a cultural and societal premium of personal gratification above godliness? Selah!!!

NOTE: Marriage isn’t all about sex, but, sex in marriage is a vital ingredient and the ONLY MEANS ORDAINED BY GOD for child-birth.

SOME BENEFITS OF EARLY MARRIAGE (In No Particular Order)
1. Reduces tendency for pre-marital sex and fornication (1 Cor. 7:1-3 MSG)
2. Conception of pregnancy is higher and safer.
3. Social status enhancer (respect and regards) Heb. 13:4 reads “Marriage is honourable in all…”
4. Growing up together – Living through various stage of transformation deepens respect and strengthen bonds, leaving couple with some epic / landmark stories to tell the children and draw strength from. It also aids getting through formative stage of life /achievement together as they achieve milestones side-by-side, leaving them with awesome experiences to draw from in times to come.
5. Higher propensity for healthy children -peak fertility and low medical possibility for deformity like down-syndrome in children.
6. Training children requires youthfulness and strength, not readily available in later ages: Enjoyment of children and grand children for a longer time
7. Creates the ease of child-spacing without fear of menopause.
8. No Wedding-Fever / Pressure -When ‘late’, one begins to live with the pressure of settling down, whether they are prepared or not, and propensity for wrong choices are high.
9. Reduces financial burden at older age and enhances reaping the fruit of child-training.
10. Confers responsibilities that naturally help creates focus early in life and build maturity.
11. Adapting to change (Flexibility) is easier in early life.
12. Sexual pleasure and satisfaction is higher at early stage of life.
13. Bodily exercise and fitness is easier at youthful stage of life.
14. Spirituality/spiritual discipline and mentoring of children is best done when parents are not living in too-far-apart worlds.

If Christians place the expectation on young and ready believers to wait till late twenties or thirties before marriage, we are placing them on yokes (which God has not ordained)
Thereby causing collateral disobedience to God and reaping the unavoidable consequences.
Gal. 5:1 states “Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage”
In conclusion, it is unreasonable and harmful to place this sort of weight upon young people who are prepared for marriage.

Marriage and sex are divine gifts, meant for our enjoyment in the way God himself has designed and derives pleasure in – Pro.18:22. Rather than discourage early marriage and placing unnecessary sexual burden on matured young folks, we should encourage it and make the process of early marriage less onerous and complicated.

Remember, virtuous and faithful men are becoming scarcer by the day – Pro. 31:10; Pro.20:6.
Let’s not be found ignorantly and deliberately labelling and disdaining what the Lord calls clean, unclean and wasting Godly opportunities.
By this, young people enjoy God’s gift in a way that is sanctified, satisfying and honouring to our Lord, God.

This is my reasonable submission.
Selah!!!