From criticism to guidance, what about discipline? What is the correct way to discipline a child? Carefully ponder Proverbs 23:13 and Hebrews 12:6 because the nexus between these two scriptures is the motive of discipline—a sign of love not just inflict punishment! We learn from our heavenly Father that discipline is an act of love and correction, not punishment for disobedient children, and an encouragement for perseverance until the negative habit is overcome.

Proverbs 22:15 (AMPC) calls it the rod of discipline not the rod of punishment! 

Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him. Proverbs 22:15 AMPC

Discipline and correction are about teaching and learning while punishment is about making a child suffer for their behavior. Punishment is always administered by a frustrated and angry parent. Admit it and pray for God’s help to make the change in mindset.

We are encouraged to discipline focusing on improving behavior and preparing for a life that is free of failure and suffering. When the child understands the objective of discipline, they appreciate that our disciplining them is teaching right and wrong by giving consequences that relate directly to the choice the child makes. Whatever the form of discipline it must always be for the child’s benefit never to inflict pain not to hurt the child.

Don’t be the cause of breeding rebellion and resentment in later life is inevitable. Set firm limits, make sure they know them and give appropriate consequences when warranted.

The worst side of not getting the above right is the confusion of love and indulgence. The materialistic world we live in confuses love with indulgence. You cannot bribe a child into obedience. Loving parents give without spoiling, withhold for the child’s good and motivate by rewarding good behavior with affirmative words and encouragement. Gifts are good but can be dangerously interpreted. Indulgent parents give kids what they want irrespective of behavior thus failing to motivate them to be responsible. The outcome is kids who develop a sense of entitlement and an expectation that others exist to please them.

“Indulgent parents are frequently guilt driven and afraid their kids won’t like or love them. They mistake indulgence for love, and breed children who demand, manipulate, and are never satisfied. Love requires talking, listening, understanding, laughing, sharing tough times, respecting and encouraging your kids with unconditional acceptance”—Bob & Debby Gass

Shalom



Pastor Afolabi Oladele