Words like responsibility, sacrifice and burden have become the norm when we (parents) tell our side of the story; but what about God’s side? First look at the pattern. God directed commanded some people, to others He promised children, because they are the cornerstone of His master plan.

1. To Adam & Eve at the occasion of establishing the human race, He commanded (Genesis 1:22,28)
2. To Noah and his family in the repopulation of the earth, because He did not create the earth to be uninhabited, He commanded again (Genesis 9:1,7)
3. To the patriarchs, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob in the covenant to make Abraham the father of many nations, He made several promises and advancements in the teaching of faith to receive (Genesis 17:2-4; 35:11-12; 48:4)

Any wonder therefore that the inspired Psalmist in our text uses words not like we do today. Children are gifts, rewards and help. A paradigm shift is mandatory for the right frame of mind to properly mold, hedge up, hedge in and train up children, the real responsibility for which God will hold every believer parent accountable. No child is an accident, not from God’s view. We expect every beneficiary of this gift to accept only as many as their faith can allow.

As practical guides to handle and properly nurture these gifts of God and in different varieties, we share over the next two posts prayer points for every point from a write-up from Brother Bob and Sister Debby Gass of UCB. Let’s start with learning guidance and not criticism as parents.

We will also look at some practical areas where parents are often confused. (If you’re not a parent, why not use these points to help you pray for parents you know.)

First, on the matter of guidance versus criticism. If you have a placid, agreeable, and compliant child who enjoys school, homework, and doing household chores, bringing ‘them up in the training and instruction of the Lord’ will be a joy! (Ephesians 6:4 NIV). Many of us, however, are given assertive, strong-willed kids with their own agendas. These kids know what they want, and when and how to get it. They also know what they don’t want to eat, wear, hear, say, and do! And parents or carers of these kids need help in building a relationship that creates trust and allows for mutual discussion and respect in a tug-of-war atmosphere. In such cases giving guidance can easily become criticism, constantly emphasising the child’s faults: ‘You look ridiculous in that… you’re never on time…why can’t you be like…’ A much better approach is to point the kid to the solution noting that even valid guidance offered negatively will damage self-worth, breed resentment, and destroy the possibility of building mutual respect. They need to hear you say, ‘I’m not on your back — I’m on your team!’ When normal conflict arises — and it will — it’s tempting to become overbearing or frustrated. When you shout, insult, or humiliate the child, you lose sight of your goal of guiding and training. This leaves them feeling angry, disempowered, uncertain, an invitation to rebellion. But if you guide your child as one who is on their team, with patient practical help, links will be forged that encourage cooperation, trust, and mutual respect.— Bob & Debby Gass

Selah



Pastor Afolabi Oladele