Mothers are always there for their children, but fathers most of the time, due to various reasons are not there for the kids. So after a long time, there was no real reason to honour fathers. But a lady put up a fight bringing out statistics that fatherless homes were more destructive to the future of the nation than ever before. So around 1957, the Congress gave it a good hearing and by 1966, President Lyndon Johnson issued the first proclamation honouring fathers, designating the third Sunday in June as fathers’ day.

Fatherhood is very important, and it is supposed to be relational. In Genesis 18:19 God said He knew that Abraham would TEACH his household that’s talk.  Phil Cooke’s Blog in anticipation of father’s day said, “all men should learn to disconnect to reconnect.” Very important because technology has taken over talking. And now, we are more disconnected than ever.” Some of us use BBM to text our kids that dinner is ready as they get stuck up in their rooms playing with laptops and play stations. Are you using instant messages, text to talk to your wife even when you both are in the house? Are not instant messages taking over the place of conversations at the dinner tables? Are you talking to your kids about their status or are you reading about their status on facebook?

There are parents who do not even know anything about facebook, yet their children post all sorts of comments there. You need to find out what is happening with your children. Remember, your kids watch your behaviour more than they listen to your words. And when they see you are unable to disconnect from the emails, TVs, home video, text messages, twitter etc., you are telling them that what is on your phone, iPod or iPad is more important than they are. So Phil Cooke suggested that there should be 24 hours shut down of phones and iPads. Shut all devices down and use that time to reconnect with your children and your wife. But it is clear that the 24 hours of connecting and reconnecting will not accomplish fully what is necessary. These devices are necessary and you might depend on them, but you must learn to shut them down and speak with your wife and children. All of us need to be reconnected with our wives, children, friends, brother and sisters in the church.

Who is a Good Father? To define a godly Father, let’s take a look at Psalm 112:1 and 2.“Praise ye the LORD. Blessed is the man that feareth the LORD, that delighteth greatly in his commandments. His seed shall be mighty upon earth: the generation of the upright shall be blessed.”

Here, God has given us the question and the answer together. We already know that why the man will be blessed is because he greatly fears the Lord and delights in His law. Why will God call Abraham His friend? God put a stamp on Abraham that he was a good father. Good fathers have made mistakes too. God’s men have made mistakes too. In fact, the result of their mistakes made them to fear God more. If the result of your mistake does not make you to fear God more, you are not a godly person. Abraham made mistakes, he learnt from his mistakes and he taught others from his mistakes. God looked at him and said “I know my friend, that he would command his household after Me”. So Fathers’ day is the day for us to forget the errors of the past and move forward. Let our wives cooperate with us by also forgetting our past. Children, honour your fathers. Don’t compare your dad with others, their challenges are different. Wives, you will be making the greatest error of this life to compare your husband with other husbands; our challenges are different. Doing that is covetousness.

The Bible said his seed will be mighty upon the earth; he did not say his children because grandchildren are part of his seed. His biological children, spiritual children, neighbours and workers in his office that he influenced, are all part of his seed. If it is only his children that are mighty upon the earth, God has not achieved much. God wants His influence to spread. Take David out of the equation and there is no Christianity. These are men that extended their territories. Even though they had children that misbehaved, that did not take a bit out of them before God and before any godly person. So if you have any child that misbehaves, that does not have anything to do with the fact that you are a child of destiny.

A godly man fears the Lord greatly and loves His commandments. His Attitudes, amongst others, are:

• He is not looking for loop holes to get round the injunctions of God.
• He does not feel that they are impositions on him.
• He does not out rightly reject them.
• He receives them and delights in them.
• He accepts responsibility for whatever commandment is given, for whatever is expected of Him.
• He provides guidance for the family and provides direction.

Gen 18:19 “For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.” Why will all the nations of the earth be blessed? The reason God knows is because He had the knowledge that Abraham will command his family. At the time when God said this, Abraham had a few people to control but God was looking beyond that because God knew that those people Abraham was training will train other people.

Every time you give a bad example, it goes beyond you. When the explosion of the Chernobyl Nuclear disaster occurred, the effect of it went beyond the factory, the industry, the city, to people who did not even know there was a nuclear facility in that city. Not only did the nuclear fallout reach them, it stayed with them for years. Abraham travelled from one place to another and gave his wife to the king of the country. That was human trafficking, because he was given more money in return. God had to arrest that king. If you think that the consequences of sin do not go beyond you, then why did Isaac repeat the same mistake of his father? And even to Jacob, who because of fear sent all the children of Leah ahead to meet with Esau. You can trace it back to Abraham.

The man that God seeks after is the one that can raise blessed family, blessed families and blessed nations! This means it goes beyond father, mother and children. This man must have fundamental qualities. So let us impress on ourselves some home truths, a look at FIVE ATTRIBUTES of a good father:

1. A good father fears greatly. Ps 112:1-2
2. He submits humbly.
3. He leads faithfully. He leads with the mind that this is going to generate profit for God. He has a mission, he sticks with it and it does not concern him whether Johnny is crying. He cares for Johnny but he knows that Johnny needs the discipline.
4. He instructs consistently.
5. He loves abundantly.

If you don’t love abundantly as a father, you are a terrorist. You must do all these things with love, nay abundant love. Let there be situations where you and your wife need to go out and there is only one car and let her use it while you hail a cab. Those are situations that make her know you love her. My dad was not always there but what he used to cover for it was at the right times, he showed love abundantly. He showed some understanding that you can’t beat. In fact there were times when my mother would have freaked out but my Dad said no problem. He showed love not with mouth but with action, abundantly.

Who is a great father as shown in God’s Word? Psalm 103:13 says, “Like a father pitieth his children, so the Lord pitieth them that fear Him.” Before the fear of God comes to you, you would have failed in fearing man and the consequences of it will cause trouble that will make you fear God. If Abraham did not fear men, he would not have traded out his wife. But after a while he stopped fearing anybody. When the king of Sodom came to negotiate he said I have vowed before God that I will not take anything that belongs to you. But before that time he has feared everything including Sarah. It was Sarah who said go ahead. When she said it, he didn’t even consider it. He didn’t even seek the face of God before he proceeded.

Ephesians 6:4 (NLT) “And now a word to you fathers. Don’t make your children angry by the way you treat them. Rather bring them up with the discipline and teachings of the Lord.

What makes a bad father? Bad fathers are …

• Invisible
• Impossible
• Inconsistent

Bad fathers exist, but they are not there for their family. They are like the man in the book of Kings’ whose wife noticed the prophet, suggested they make a place for him; she was the one who did everything. When the man went to the farm alone, it was the woman who spoke to the prophet and when the baby came, the man came and took the baby to work. When the baby died, he returned the baby to his wife. It is possible that the man was living in the same house with Elijah and never spoke to the prophet. Fathers, where are you every time there is a family altar in the house? Bad fathers are invisible, impossible and inconsistent.

A great father is a PROVIDER for his family. He must responsibly provide for his family’s physical needs. Don’t kill yourself to provide for your family, if you cannot afford anything, sit them down and let them know.

1 Timothy 5:8 He “manages” his family so they can get the most out of life. (See also 1 Timothy 3:4). The reason many people are fighting over pulpit is because they have not utilised the pulpit in their homes. Don’t come here and give us anything if you have not practised it in your own home. How is it that your children don’t know you are a preacher but you want to preach at the National Stadium? You are a liar. Honour starts from home.

A great father is a MINISTER to his family.

He must lovingly provide for his family’s spiritual needs. Even my children know right from their childhood that I do not tolerate any form of distraction during family devotion; everything else must wait. This is my life.  Colossians 3:21 (MSG) “He “ministers” to his family by giving himself to them.” 1 Thessalonians 2:8 (LB) “We loved you dearly – so dearly that we gave you not only God’s message, but our own lives too.”

No one can take the unique place of a father. Even in the spiritual, Paul emphasised the position of a father:  “For though ye have ten thousand instructors in Christ, yet have ye not many fathers: for in Christ Jesus I have begotten you through the gospel.” 1 Corinthians 4:15. Fathers are different from mere instructors. Instructors are good but they cannot take the place of a father whether biologically or spiritually. One of the biggest threats to this generation we are raising is the breakdown of families. Lifelong marriages provide the foundation for social order. Everything of value rests on that. 1 Pet. 3:1-7 speaks on the elements that make marriage thrive. Submission and respect from the woman are key. But they happen when he father acts the father.

At a certain point in your married life without your demanding it, your wife begins to address you as “Daddy”. But that doesn’t happen if both of you are still engaging in arguments. If you are still arguing at that time, then both of you are unserious. There will come a time when the nest (home) becomes empty and the reality dawns that only both of you are left in the house. Go to wherever, when you return, it’s still your wife you’ll meet at home. Marriage is a long haul; so don’t get to the empty nest stage and you are still fighting with your spouse. Before you get to that stage, let ‘Sarai’ be converted to Sarah.

1 Peter 3:7 “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.” In the preceding verses (1-6) the Apostle Peter focused on the women but when he got to verse seven, he added an injunction for the men. He told them that if they don’t handle their wives very well to the point that there is harmony, mutual respect, understanding; that their prayers will be hindered. How do you survive that?

1 Peter 3:8 “Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous:”

Startling Statistics:

70% of black babies and 20% of white babies born in North America are born out of wedlock. Most of them will never know their fathers – or a father’s love.

Only 1/3 of children born in North America will live with both biological parents through age

85% of children with behavior disorders are from fatherless homes

71% of high school drop outs are from fatherless homes

70% of teen pregnancies are from fatherless homes

80% of rapists are from fatherless homes

75% of teen patients in drug abuse centers are from fatherless homes

70% of juveniles in correctional institutions are from fatherless homes

85% of youths in prison are from fatherless homes

63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes

Thirty years ago, we believed that poverty and racial discrimination were primarily responsible for juvenile crime and behavioral problems. Now, nearly all of the evidence points to family breakup as the real culprit, and predicts a societal catastrophe if we don’t turn this trend around!

George Barna has identified some troubling statistics for the church at large in America:

· Women are twice as likely to be involved in discipleship in the church as men are.

· They are 57% more likely to attend Sunday School.

· They are 56% more likely to hold a leadership position.

· They are 54% more likely to participate in a small group.

What is God’s Measure of a Good Man and Father?

Everything that is of quality has measurement. One of the functions of NAFDAC is to make sure that 1ml of syrup is 1ml. Those of us in the construction, 1,000 millimeters must be equal to one meter. Everything that has quality must have measurements signify it has value. So if you are a person of value to God, there must be a measure. So what is the way that God measures? In the spiritual parlance, a good man has the following attributes:

1 Timothy 6:11-12 “But thou, O man of God, flee these things; and follow after righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, meekness. Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life, whereunto thou art also called, and hast professed a good profession before many witnesses”

What the Bible says that a godly man is:

• A man of knowledge.
• A man moved by faith.
• A man fired by love.
• A man like God.
• A man careful about the worship of God.
• A man who serves God and not men.
• A man who prizes Jesus Christ.
• A man who can weep.
• A man who loves the Word.
• A man who has the Spirit of God residing in him.
• A man of humility.
• A man of prayer.
• A man of sincerity.
• A heavenly man.
• A zealous man.
• A patient man.
• A thankful man.
• A man who loves the saints.
• A man who does not indulge himself in sin.
• A man who is good in his relationships.
• A man who does spiritual things in a spiritual manner.
• A man thoroughly trained in religion.
• A man who walks with God.
• A man who strives to be an instrument for making others godly

Nice men are the greatest dangers to your children. Preachers have lost their ministries to nice women. Niceness is not part of the fruit of the spirit and if you get entangled because of niceness, you are in trouble.

No one can take the unique place of a father! Historically, when the family begins to unravel in any culture, everything else is adversely affected. 72% of North Americans say the physical absence of fathers is the most serious problem facing our families. How can you buck the trend? By committing your life totally to Christ and raising your family to do the same! Christian fathers do not lie, steal, lust and covet! Christian fathers do not serve the god of money! Christian fathers do not sire and then abandon their children! Christian fathers do not cheat on their wives! Christian fathers don’t send their kids to church, they take them! Christian fathers have a REAL relationship with God.