• on June 19, 2018

The Joy & Challenges Of Fatherhood

by Deacon Mordi – 17 June 2018

INTRODUCTION:
What we are doing today is not new, what matters is the motive. It’s a landmark celebration – it happens yearly, and landmark usually points to something or tell a story, like the Tower of Paris, Taj Mahal in India and Lady Liberty in U.S. The lessons in father’s day or what God is using it to point attention to is my focus today.
Before the world thought of celebrating fathers, God had issued a command to that effect.

Ex. 20:12 “Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.”

This exhortation is not intended therefore to castigate husbands or the entire home, but geared towards making us what God intends us to be, complete fathers that He would be proud of.

Pastor Dele in his book, “The Marriage Altar” wrote and I quote ‘Though marriage, the oldest institution known to man, seems also to be the most abused and misunderstood of all. People rush to the wedding altar everyday, professing undying love for each other, proclaiming to have found their ‘missing rib’ only to rush out few months or years later wondering what they were thinking in the first place.’

If you rush out, it then means that the good thing that you found with the accompany favour were all your imagination after all the drama on your wedding day.

I am glad to announce to you that marriage is workable and enjoyable. All it requires is giving it your ALL.

There are marriages that have lasted for over 40years and we are still maxing strong. Ours must last in Jesus Name Amen.

All God is looking for is the WILL then He supplies the grace (Divine empowerment to accomplish). God is able to make all grace abound toward you (2Cor. 9:8) For the Lord God is a sun and shield: The Lord will give grace and glory no good will He withhold from them that walk uprightly (Ps. 84:11)

GOD’S ORDAINED PATTERN OF HOMES
(God give us Godly homes)

Our God is the God of order, so has patterned the homes in that direction – where there is order ad mutual respect for each other. No crossing of lanes or the attitude of I can do better than you
Eph. 5:21-29

KEY POINTS:
(1) SUBMISSION: This issue cuts across board, not for only wives as men like to say, with special emphasis. Some are under authority including wives and children but refuse to submit to such. Some don’t even want to be under authority. The feminists whose slogan is ‘what a man can do we can also, so what is the big deal about a husband?
• Acknowledge your husband as the head no matter what happens. That he is the representative of God in your home.
Some have joined the world to reverse this God’s ordained ordinance. Sarah our mother called Abraham my lord (Gen. 18:12)
(2) LOVE: This is not the type your professed during your wedding, but a sacrificial one that puts everyone ahead of you.

THE MAN ABRAHAM (Gen. 18:19)KJV
God’s testimony of him. Confidently God declared ‘For I know him that he will command his children (children yet unborn) and household after Him, that they shall keep the way of the Lord, to do justice and judgement (INTENT) that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which He had spoken of him. TLB also Does God have this testimony about me?

Things to note:
God could beat His chest concerning Abraham like He did for Job (Job 1:8) He said I have singled him out (NIV)
• Abraham was to command (not beg or plead as Eli did) (1Sam. 3:22-25) He was not only to command, but to enforce.
• In Gen. 14:14 we read that Abraham had large household. 318 trained servants (soldiers) plus Sarah that is 319. These he commanded after God.

Here now is the challenge. How large is our families that some of us finds it difficult to show them the way of the cross? If we fail in this as fathers and God forbid, God will hold us accountable. (See Jos. 1:8)

FAMILY RELATIONSHIP
Now to the practical aspect of fatherhood. Just as Christ relates and loves the church so should we as fathers love the family that He has entrusted us with.
This is key to the growth and harmony of the church.
Nancy Van in her book “The Complete Parent,” wrote on family togetherness and I quote: ‘The real failures of families today are over commitment not to the family, but to work, school, hobbies, (social media’ my addition) the list is endless.
Continuing she wrote, we go through life in the fast lane. No one can enjoy family togetherness when everyone lives at such a breakneck speed. This is of course speaking the very obvious.
A grown up child will fondly remember the time spent together with the family than his birth day when he was lavished with expensive gifts. ‘
How are we bonding with our families? Have we become victims of the pressure the world is throwing at us? And most painfully, have we become strangers to our families?
As a father you must fashion out limits in order to maintain friendly relationship.
It is important to define boundaries (call it road maps) for your child/children as the case me be. He or she needs to know what you permit and what you don’t.
If you don’t some of them are very smart and would want to test your will power to enforce rules and discipline.
A child would exploit your inadequacy which could be your inconsistency. Blowing not and cold.
NOTE: Anytime you remind your family that you are in charge, you have lost our them.

THINGS TO AVOID
• Don’t compare your child/children wife with others. This is very common in some homes. Go has wired us differently
• Don’t attempt to single out a child as your favourite or what people call Daddy’s Pet’
In so doing you create room for envy, jealousy, even hatred. See Gen. 37:3 (Read
• Don’t pattern their lives in falsehood. Tell it as it is particularly in the area of finance when needs are not met. Don’t blame it on the imaginary accountant who refused to sign your cheque, assuring your family that God will deal with him. Putting God in the equation.
• Don’t make your wife feel inferior, because properly she was ‘shipped’ from the village. You can turn her to what Bible says she is ‘fearfully and wonderfully made.
See 1Sam. 22:2 ‘And everyone that was in distress, and everyone discontented gathered themselves unto him(David) and he became their captain and there were four hundred of them.
These rejects became Israel’s choice army

THINGS WE COULD IMBIBE TO THEM IF WE HAVE THEM
• The spirit of contentment Phil. 4:11; 1Tim. 6:6-8
• Value for things etc

CONCLUSION
Like stated earlier, the essence of this exhortation is not to condemn any, but for us to show the house to the house, and see the missing links. (Ezek. 43:10).
That in simplicity of heart we can ask God for help in any area we have failed as fathers.
Perhaps you are here filled with self-condemnation wishing you had done it better, or your home is in near collapse, the repairer of broken bridges is here to fix it.
Just cast all your burdens to Him for He cares. At Calvary, burdens are lifted up.
Prayer: God give us Godly homes you will be pleased with just like that of Abraham.

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